i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
