I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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