If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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