Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
