Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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