The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Rumble strips road head = magical
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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