I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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