Rock
Scissors
Fuck
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
