the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
