You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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