it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
