Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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