Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
