I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
