Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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