So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
