I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
