I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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