:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
