They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
