Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
