The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
