so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
