i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
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