Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
