i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
