ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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