I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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