I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
