My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
