I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
