Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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