roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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