Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
