If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
