**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
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