Umm I'm too high to move.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
