she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
