you guys were way drunker than both of me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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