Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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