I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
