ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Randomize
