Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
