question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
