white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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