i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
