It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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