i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
