You're completely useless in the revolution.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
