youre lurking in front of me
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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