walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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