operation harelip BJ is a go
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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