If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
